Saturday, October 1, 2011

the power of play

Unfortunately, I no longer spend my days building forts in bushes CIMG4656and making “potions” with dandelions and pine sap.  I witness daily how central play is for development.  A child can imagine and begin to explore any role from cop to cowgirl, from superhero to an exhausted mother pushing a heavy stroller waiting for the bus.  As children we all play-out ideas and learn our world through empathy and imagination. 

What an immense capacity: the ability and willingness to temporarily take on a role outside ourselves.. and come away with a greater understanding…

A mother of some of the children I work with, looked at me down on a kids’ level being goofy and straight-faced asked me “how do you play?”   Working with CIMG1654young children, I facilitate play daily, yet generally reject the idea that I participate.  I tend to conjure images of a preschool teacher who worships disney movies and wears whinnie-the-pooh sweatshirts, you know the type.  Even as a I write this I fear that perception.  Yet here was an adult woman with two kids and she was really asking: “how do I connect with my kids the way you do?”  Play offers us an opportunity to be outside ourselves and our comfort zone, to lower our fears about how we are being perceived, and really connect to people and experiences.  I feel more open to others when I can imagine their daily life and find a place of identification.  That old saying, don’t judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes, mental role play creates the medium for that practice.  

I am noticing there are many elements of play in my adult world.  I believe we CIMG3275all find moments of play.  I regularly play dress up.  I feel more yogic when I don yoga pants and a zen tank, more hippe and carefree in a skirt, more nurturing in an apron, and more “cool” when I dress to go out as if I were an exceedingly fashionable woman I have never been in daylight.  I imagine myself into situations before I commit to them.  After an interview for a job, I foresee myself in that role, and evaluate if it’s a good fit for me. Looking for apartments, I forecast what it might feel like to live there, experience it each day.  Especially when making life-changing decisions, like the one to move to Utah, I play with the idea of it first and foremost.

Manifestation and visualization seem not-so-distant from play.  Descartes said “I think therefore I am” yet the closer truth for me seems to be: fake it ‘till you make it.  I am becoming and play is a useful tool along the way.  Not unlike the CIMG1418children I work with, I can present a less-authentic self to share with the world while protecting my fragile, dearer, inner self.  Other times play helps me be expansive.  I might be a in role playfully one day, allowing a side of me to come out, and in time, that side becomes a more integral and present part of me.  Play is the bridge between a fantasy and reality.  A safety net.  An opportunity to  be the person we might be with the easy out of: “just playin’.”   I am the thoughtful, confident, beautiful, talented, woman I portray or am I just playin’?  

                           what I am to be, I am now becoming.  B Franklin                                    What I am to be, I am now becoming. -B Franklin

Friday, July 29, 2011

home is wherever I’m with you

  Sometimes, I fall hard for a song.  It’s the kind of crush that is almost unbearable.  I can listen to the song seven times in a row three times a day and still can’t seem to get enough.  Still, some songs hit me harder than others. 
 
   “Home” by Edwarde Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros.  It’s just so simple, sappy and sing-able---like song candy—but for me there is something a bit deeper.
This song found me, more than I it.  I am hardly a person who is ever ahead of any trend, musical or otherwise, but with this song (and Gaga’s first album, oddly enough) it does seem like I heard it before most people I know.  I was finishing a two and half month long cross-the-country-and-back road trip with two of my closest people.  Man, oh man, you’re my best friend, I scream it to the nothingness. There ain’t nothin’ that I need... I’ll follow you into the park, through the jungle, through the dark

   We had already experienced more than our share of car trouble when we CIMG4314landed in a middle-of-nowhere ditch during a fluke December flood in Kentucky.  We survived, but our car was not so lucky.  We found ourselves stranded, trying to have the car repaired locally, and growing restless for “home”.  As grateful as we were for the people and places that had taken us in during our travels, we all craved an end to the couch, car and/or house surfing and to once again be on solid ground.  Anxious to be home, now, we opted to rent a U-haul, (and a flatbed trailer for the car) and drive those last 15 hours up into snowy New England.  Tired, overwhelmed and still taking-in all of our many and varied adventures with friends, family, and strangers around US, we spoke very little in those last hours.  The three of us taking shifts driving, shot-gunning and sitting cramped on the floor between to two seats.  Still, it was a welcome improvement from our water–logged, heatless, and much loved Frida Forester. Moats & boats & waterfalls, alley ways & (cell) phone calls, I’ve been everywhere with you

I drove the last leg, in the early morning.  Once back in the Pioneer Valley, I already began to feel relief, I turned on a familiar local radio station.  As I rounded the final hill and made the final curve on my way to my parents house (the impetus for the trip had been our apartment being foreclosed upon, so the home I was returning to was the one I grew up in), this magical song came on.  I felt like crying and laughing.  La la la la, take me Home.  Baby, I’m coming Home.

Last night Edward came to Twilight, and no, I’m not talking vampires.  (Although when I overheard some young thing saying “I mean, when is Edward going to be on” all sassy and rolling her eyes, I did draw a parallel.) Twilight is Salt Lake’s free concert series.  This year I have a craft booth there and my friend and I have been discussing how having a booth at this event is so grounding.  You walk out into the park at the peak of the concert and it is a sea of people with few IMG_4128landmarks.  Meeting up with friends once there is a challenge at best.  Thousands swarm and cell phones stop working due to sheer concentration.  Yet our cozy booth, complete with a mustard yellow lounge area, is like home. We laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

Hearing this song again, and live, I could not help reflecting on the past couple years.  I love the song because it portrays a nomadic lifestyle so beautifully and yet also validates the struggle and the power in enduring.  Literally the song speaks to romantic love, but for me, the “you” in the song is me.  Home is wherever I’m with you.  From foreclosure to flood.  From forlorn and isolated in Guate to the rush and uncertainty of moving to Utah with nothing but a backpack and the hope of something new.  In the midst of shifts and uncertainty in my relationships, friends and family,  Through it all, I had me.  At times I had little else to rely on.  Home is when I’m alone with you.  CIMG2939Here I am, creating home daily (and apparently weekly at a craft booth in the park), in Salt Lake City, Utah.  The desert and the mountains are beginning to feel familiar to this east coast native.  I never would have expected to be here, much less a year and half later, calling Salt Lake home.  Yet the disbelief doesn't make it less true.  Home is where you make it.

Ahh, Home
Yes, I am Home

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Vegan Matzoh Ball Soup

     It’s that time of year.  When the Jews and Jewesses* of the world cast away some of the luxuries of food yet somehow still make even more amazing, symbolic and delicious meals.  Passover.  Out here in SLC I have yet to meet aCIMG2719 single Jew or Jewess, and I have been missing the company, traditions and of course the foods of their rich culture.  So I created a little taste of the tradition for myself.  
     I’ve been making this soup for several years.  Traditionally the soup is made with chicken broth and a dumpling like balls made from matzoh meal and eggs.  Somewhere in my vegan interpretation I mixed up matzoh meal (the flour used to make matzoh) with matzoh farfle (broken pieces of matzoh) .  So in my version of this classic dish I use crushed whole wheat matzoh, which makes for a slightly more texturized and dense ball that I really enjoy..

the balls:CIMG2720
dry ingredients:
 (mix in a large bowl)
1 package whole wheat matzoh, crumbled
salt and peppa to taste

wet ingredients: (blend together in food processor)
12oz Package silken tofu
2 Tablespoons olive oilCIMG2735
2 c vegetable stock

Mix together wet and dry ingredients and let dough chill for about an hour. 
(In the mean time prepare the broth)  when dough is chilled form into hand sized balls. 

broth ingredients:
4 c vegetable stock, water as needed
1 carrot finely shredded
2 celery spears finely shredded
1 1/2 onion thinly sliced
fresh dill
salt, peeper, brags to tasteCIMG2722

Add thinly shredded carrots and celery and thinly sliced onion and chopped fresh dill to vegetable broth on medium heat.  (again this differs from tradition but I like veggies.  by prepping the vegies so thin and delicate they blend with the broth.)  When broth is bubbly and tasty add balls and cook until they are thoroughly warmed.  Serve hot to friends and family.CIMG2742

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

one year

a few things I have learned and observed in the year I have resided in this beautifully strange City by the Salty Lake..2446884173_eb7007d38f

- This is the place. 
- The seagull is the state bird of this land-locked state.
- School teachers are legally allowed to carry guns, to work if they so choose..
- The great salt lake is the second saltiest lake on earth and spans millions of acres while it is only 34ft deep at it’s deepest.
- The grid here seem strange at first (1645s, 200e) but the city’s system of coordinate-like addresses means I never consult google maps before venturing to a new location.
- In addition to SLC Punk; Dumb and Dumber (which I still have never watched in it’s entirety), High School Musical (I used to live down the street from the real ‘East High’) and Touched by an Angel were filmed here
- If you go to the Beehive House, historically identified as Brigham Young’s ‘ideal polygamist dwelling’ the guides stand firm that he lived there with one wife.  Most people don’t talk much about polygamy except to say it was only practiced a long time ago.
- on that note I have yet to watch either Big Love or Sister Wives, both have been recommended to me since I arrived.
-  the Sundance film festival was started here and still happens every year here, with some of the films having showings at movie theaters in Salt Lake, while most of the showings, and parties and hoopla happens up in Park City220px-8mormonproposition
- To marvel at the organizational prowess of the LDS (Mormon) church I recommend 8 a Mormon Proposition, but to enjoy the benefits of having a close-knit, industrious and welcoming society I recommend going to LDS family events. 
- Sometimes people say SLC has more gays per/capita than San Fran, but I can’t find any evidence to correlate with that, although this research from UCLA-Law suggests we’re not even in the top 10, SLC has a respectable (estimated) 7.6% gay population (which IS greater than New York’s 4.5% but not San Fran’s whooping 15.4%) and a Pride celebration that is nothing to snuff at.
- I love how often I see live music here.  The local music scene is happening and affordable.  I especially like Hip White People and The Awful Truth
-  Each time I put in my address online and it has a list of states to select your state from, I always think it’s fitting that Utah is nestled between Texas and Vermont.  Utah is somewhere between the outdoorsy-homespun-environmentally-aware Vermont, and the rugged-largerthanlife-industrial-sometimes less than accepting Texas..

and so here I am. I never would have thought I’d stay here a year, but I find that I like it here, and I expect to be here for a little while so I might as well embrace and enjoy.  to Utah.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

me and morning

we’re old friends, me and the morning.  I can rely on the morning to be there for me.  to offer me solace.  to let me quietly reflect on things.  to help me accomplish things big and small.  I know I’ll always have the morning when I need it.  a fresh start.  before the day has swept away into bustle and chaos.  when reality still remains so close to intention..

And I take care of morning too.  I notice it when others would just as soon ignore it.  Sleep in, I believe it’s called.  I enjoy the morning light, the softness of it.  the time for half-formed thoughts.  a time for small projects and preparations.  a treasure trove of time when the night before ended too soon.  I take joy in it and spread joy about it.  never badmouthing it for being “too early” or for robbing me of sleep.  morning gives me so much more than it takes.  clarity. thoughtfulness.  solitude.  preservation.  forethought. morning lets me exist in my own context. P1000387

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Homemade pita bread is easier than you think

I get it.  not everyone is a baker.  for some (even seasoned cooks) yeast breads are a scary and mysterious beast, but this whole wheat pita bread is surprisinglyCIMG2121 easy to make and so deliciously simple you’ll soon want to master the art just so you can keep up with demand.  I once brought this pita, along with a homemade hummus and homegrown vegetables to a potluck and the crowd was amazed at each unveiling.  You grew the vegetables made the humus and the pita!?!  (incidentally I had also made the bowl the humus was in but that was just too much..)  This pita also freezes well and can be toasted and spiced to make pita chips!

2 cups boiling water
1 teaspoon maple syrup or honey
1 tablespoon (or one packet) dried yeast
1 teaspoon salt (always optional in my opinion)
5-6 cups whole wheat flour

the plan:
1. dissolve maple syrup/honey in boiling water then let cool to hand hot. sprinkle yeast on top of the water (do not stir!), leave until frothy
2. add flour and salt slowly stopping adding when the dough forms a sticky ball. dust the surface with flour, knead well to form a soft ball.(don’t over flour!)
3. cover and let rise in a warm place for one hour***CIMG2123
4. punch down dough and divide into about ten small balls, roll each ball out on a floured surface, keeping the round shape until approx. 1/4 inch. let rise on ungreased, lightly floured sheet pans. cover with cloth.
5. after 20 minutes, turn carefully and rise another 25 min.(preheat oven to just over 400°F)
6. bake for about 5-8 min until they seem to pop!
7. remove from oven and wrap in a clean towel and let cool.

CIMG2125
***My rising secret is to set bowl over pan of boiled water, letting the steam warm the area for optimal rising***

Thursday, September 17, 2009

movement

for too long it has been stagnant. no appreciable change, no breath of fresh air. waiting... waiting... waiting....

and then, a minor miracle happened, we made a decision that only hinged on us--not the bank or the status of our vehicle--we decided the cats could be settled in their new situation: my parent's house in western mass. a minor movement west, car filled with our cats and all their wordy possessions, driving into the sunset was all we needed to break the monotony of limbo. movement. suddenly the greater trip west is all possible, real, present and immanent. driving into the sunset, close, so close, and achievable. as we left our house with the cats we got word on an offer from the bank, one we are willing to accept, especially because it is the offer that is on the table right now. things seem to be falling into place. if our cats can adapt to change and so can we.